Tacos For One

Baywood’s farmers market

We used to make tacos at least three nights a week. Whether it was black bean tacos, grass-fed beef tacos, or scrambled egg and onion tacos, we’d prepare for our tacos by hitting the Baywood farmers market together every week. He’d go get avocados from Jack and tomatoes from Jorje. I’d go get lettuces, kale, carrots, and cilantro from Rudy. And we’d always find the brightest, sweetest jalapeno peppers and vibrant dandelion greens from Ralph Johnson.

We took great comfort in each other’s companionship, talking as we diced tomatoes, grating carrot and raw goat cheddar, and carefully mincing onion and cilantro. He’d warm the organic corn tortillas with ghee in our smallest cast iron pan, and I’d slice and scoop the perfectly ripe avocados. We’d eat an entire avocado to each of our heads!

We loved our routine, our ritual. But over time, it felt like more of a rigamarole. You see, we had bushels of affinity, but only a grain of alignment. We were opposites in our approach to life: me grabbing the bull by the horns, and he content to let it graze in the pasture. I wanted to save money and plan for children, and he didn’t. No amount of affinity can calm the tumult that builds between two people who are constantly trying to change each other. We both saw this plainly, that neither of us was right or wrong. We just wanted different things.

Thankfully, because of our through-the-roof affinity level, we parted ways as amicably as imaginable. We both felt very lucky for our entire experience together, as our relationship transformed us from life-mates into dear friends. When we decided to break up, all the expectations, pressures and attachments released, and we experienced total harmony as friends. As I looked for a new place to live, I couldn’t help but wonder, how often does this type of upper-chakra shift take place between two people? Our break up centered on love instead of anger and, through the transition, we stayed in a place of non-judgement, support, and love with each other, instead of sinking into anger, judgement, or making the other person wrong.

Despite our enlightened parting, however, there’s still a deep sadness and disappointment within me. I feel cycles of tears come to the surface every couple of hours, and I wonder if I’ve got it in me to walk into the kitchen in my new solo-space and make tacos for one. I can imagine going through the tedious process by myself: crying for real while dicing onions, remembering his unique way of peeling the avocado skins, my tears sizzling in the cast iron skillet.

Suddenly, as I’m wondering whether I’ve got the strength to stand, I reconnect with the understanding that I’m not alone. I feel the familiar presence of spirit including my parents who’ve both died, my angels, guides, and ancestors who want me to feel they’re always here with me. More tears well up in my eyes, this time from an overwhelming sense of gratitude. I smile and imagine giving each of them a hug. It feels so good to know they understand me and everything I’ve gone through lately and how void I’ve felt being apart from the man I’ve grown so accustomed to. I sense them wrapping me in affection and support. I’m so grateful to know I’m not alone—to feel it—and I wonder how many other people have felt it too. I hope everyone does at some point, as I walk into the kitchen to put together a delicious taco dinner for myself.

The Best Chicken Tacos On The Planet

This is Sweet Don’s recipe and the world is a better place because of it. The quantities below will produce a meal that feeds two; divide quantities in half if cooking for one.

Yes, these tacos are the best on the planet!

• 2 breasts and 2 thighs of organic chicken
• 1/4 cup organic butter, ghee or coconut oil
• 1 Tbsp. yellow curry
• 1 tsp. chipotle
• 1 tsp. granulated garlic
• 3 tsp. chopped rosemary
• 2 carrots
• 1 fennel bulb
• corn tortillas
• arugula
• avocado
• limes

Simply rub raw pieces of chicken with butter, ghee or coconut oil, yellow curry, chipotle, granulated garlic, and chopped rosemary. Place bite-size pieces of carrot & fennel bulb around the chicken in a covered dish and bake at 350 degrees for 35 minutes. Let chicken cool for 5-7 minutes, pull the meat off the bones, and arrange in corn tortillas (I like Food For Life Brand organic sprouted corn tortillas) with some of the carrot & fennel, some fresh chopped arugula & avocado, and plenty of fresh lime juice.